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The Difference Between A Viola And...

When I was in fourth grade, I started learning to play the violin. I continued taking lessons right through college. All along the way people would say to me, "What's the difference between a violin and a viola?"

I always replied: "Someone heard what a wonderfully deep and mellow sound a cello has, and they heard the brilliant, cheerful sound of a violin, and thought: 'Let's make a cross between the two. And the result sounds like barbed wire being scraped across a chalk board."

Ha ha.

But there are quite a few great jokes involving violas out are just a few. And if you play the viola, please don't take offense; I just use these jokes as a way of tormenting my friends who play the viola.

QUESTION: What's the difference between an onion and a viola?
ANSWER: No one cries when you chop up a viola.

QUESTION: What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola?
ANSWER: People take off their shoes before they jump on a trampoline.

QUESTION: Did you know it's illegal to drive a mini van off a cliff with 10 violas in the back seat?
ANSWER: Of course! You ought be able to fit at least 50 of the horrid things in there!

QUESTION: What do you call a hundred violas at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean?
ANSWER: A good start!

QUESTION: How can I keep my violin from getting stolen?
ANSWER: Put it in a viola case, of course!

QUESTION: What is the definition of "perfect pitch?"
ANSWER: A perfect pitch is when you throw a viola in the dumpster without even hitting the rim.

QUESTION: What's the difference between road kill and a viola in the middle of the road?
ANSWER: There's skid marks in front of the road kill.

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