Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction
I heard this cry outside of my bedroom window one midsummer morning. My ears perked up faster than my head did, consequently causing my ears to slap me in the face. It hurt really bad.
Regardless of this occurrence, I still wondered why this cry echoed throughout my bedroom. I slumped up out of bed and ripped the curtains off my window dramatically; which will cost me later, but for the purposes of being dramatic, I will be alright for now.
This man was sitting outside of my window. Not only was he sitting, he was sitting without any clothes and a giant chocolate mask on his face that was slowly melting and trickling down his chest. I shook my head and reached over to pull the curtains back over and suddenly realized they were laying on the floor. Once more I shook my head.
As I bent over to pick up the curtains, the raging chocolate man burst through my window, tumbling into my bed. The pillow on my bed exploded and the feathers covered his chocolate body. The man stood back up... me staring dumbly at him.
If I didn't know this ... creature was previously a man, I would've figured he was some kind of a sasquatchian creature. Actually, the chocolate-and-feathered creature let out a feral cry that almost made me want to believe he was the retarded cousin of Big-Foot.
He then grabbed my collar and lifted it up. Too bad I wasn't attached to this shirt. So he dropped it on the ground and turned around and faced me... about 3" from my face. His eyes bugged out of his head as he yelled into my face, "CHOCOLATE!".
The man spun around and jumped out of the window and I could hear him screaming his head off as he ran off into the distant. The sound of his screams was shortly deadened by the sound of car wheels screeching and metal smashing into metal.
I preceded to walk up to my curtains and pulled them over my head. And I died.
One thing about dieing I never really realized, you're dead. So I continued to lie there until I suddenly realized I couldn't just die like that and the only thing I had done is convinced myself I was dead and just lied on the ground for about 3.12 hours... give or take 10.6 hours.
So I got up from my curtainy grave, a zombie. Not really, I guess I was never truly dead. The blinding light from the outside was quickly shadowed by the ... shadow of a half naked man standing in front of me. Mr. Chocolate was back to scream "chocolate!" in my face again. So I covered my ears and then very sarcastically smiled at him and tilted my head to the right a bit.
He bent down and said, "Wohoh-ho, man. I'm like sooo sorry. I had, like, this dude stick burning hot chocolate up my nose and then poured a bucket on my face. I tried to scream for help, but everyone just ran away from me. All I wanted was 24 apple pies from McDonald's for $12+sales tax, man. Do you know what it's like to be an outcast, bro???" I just stared at him for 5 seconds and then quickly raised my arm up and then pointed to the window. He responded with, "Well, I guess not." and drooped his shoulders down and walked away.
I sighed and fell onto my bed.. until I realized I had landed on some of that disgusting chocolate of his. So I got up.... faced with a dilemma.
I eventually just gave up on this issue. It became too complicated for my now feeble mind.
So, I figured I'd go to McDonald's. I was really hungry after all this... actually apple pies sound pretty good right now.
So I got in my car and drove up to McDonald's and attempted to order 24 apple pies at the counter. The boy at the counter lunged at me and tackled me to the ground and preceded to pour burning hot chocolate in my face.
In an attempt to get help, I screamed: "CHOCOLATE!" and started to run...
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