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Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

The following is a piece of writing submitted by Finvarra Penn on January 9, 2011
"Oh goodness, this is tragic. Be warned."

Remember When it Rained?

Daniel stopped in his tracks to turn and glance behind him. He could see Rachel behind him, her gaze on the sand beneath her bare feet. He waited for her to join him, saying as she came closer, “I wish this day could last forever.”
Rachel smiled and slipped her hand into his, her eyes looking up into his. “If only.”

Leaning forward, Daniel planted a light kiss on the corner of her mouth, his eyes closing for the briefest of moments.

Pulling back, he started to walk again, Rachel by his side. They were silent, not a word was spoken between them for a few solitary seconds, until a clap of thunder crashed in the distence and Rachel said, “See I told you it was going to storm.”

Daniel chuckled at this. “Yes you’re right, I should have believed you.”

Minutes later, the skys turned an unheathen gray, the clouds, darkening in color, flashes of lightning breaking from the heavens to show off on earth. Rain started to fall, and instently Daniel and Racherl were wet, their hair and clothes clinging to their skin. Daniel looked up at the sky, a complaint rushing through his head, but when he glanced over and saw Rachel with her head thrown back and a smile on her pretty face, all he could think about was how much he loved her. She was so perfect, so wonderful.

Letting go of his hand, Rachel started to spin around, her arms flung out wide, her feet pressing paterns into the sand.

A laugh broke out of her mouth; she looked so happy.

Reaching for her hands, Daniel joined her, and together they spun around like young children.

When they both became to dizzy, they fell to the ground, breathless but gay. Once Daniel was able to stop laughing, he reached up and brushed Rachel’s face with a wet hand, moving a bit of hair on her cheek to behind her ear.

“I’m going to miss you.” He remarked solomly.

Rachel nodded sadly, “And I you.”

Moving just an inch closer, Rachel pressed her lips to his own, and for a few seconds Daniel could do nothing but savor the moment.

When they sperated, he quickly wiped at his eyes, embarrassed to find he was crying.

Rachel spoke gently, her voice music to his ears, “Don’t cry Daniel, please don’t cry. We’ll see each other again.”

But he couldn’t help it; he was losing the only girl he’d ever loved. In just a few short hours he would be gone, and who knew how long she would wait for him.

“I don’t want to leave you.” Daniel said, taking her hand and pressing it to his heart.

“I know you don’t, but just remember, I’ll always be here for you. I will wait until the day I die for you to come home. Just promise me one thing?”

“Anything.” He whispered, meaning it with all his heart.

“Promise me you’ll return safely.” Her words were soft, quiet, almost scared. A certain urgency hid among her words, and the look in her eyes was that of fear.

“I promise.” He said, hoping to reasure her.


Daniel strode forward, his strides long and sure, although the look on his face showed he was hesitent.

He had returned home safely, just as he had promised Rachel all those years ago. And now, there he stood in his uniform so strong and proud, but broken. He was broken.

He’d come home planning to ask Rachel to marry him, hopeing to start a new life with her, but he had recieved the news that she was dead. Dead. The word had hit him like a grenade, and even now, it continued to ring in his head, like a broken record repeating the same word over and over again.

He stood now in front of the tomb stone newly put up; he’d gotten home a day too late to be at her buriel.

In all the years of seeing men he fought with killed, captians he had looked up to shot down like a hunted animal, nothing was so hard as seeing her grave. The flowers laying on the freshly turned grass were starting to wilt, but not by much, proving they had been set there only the day before. Proving it had happened.

Kneeling down, Daniel reached out with a shaking hand and touched Rachel’s name carved in the cold stone.

“Oh Rachel.” He whispered, his voice trembling as tears threatened to fall.

“I kept my promise.” He said. “I came home safely. I’m here…why didn’t you wait for me?”

Looking up at the sky, he noticed the sky starting to turn dark, a sign that it would rain.

“Rachel, do you remember when it rained? I’ll never forget that day. I’ll never forget you.”

His voice broke, and the tears he had wanted to show now were flowing freely down his cheeks.

“I love you Rachel, I love you.” Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against the tombstone in one last finall goodbye.

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