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Writing > Users > katiedarling- > 2011

Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction


The following is a piece of writing submitted by katiedarling- on March 21, 2011
"This really happened.
Last thursday, I saw the woman I fell in love with, and am still in love with, and I had a panic attack in the middle of a crowded street, at the Oceanside streetfair.
I cannot exactly portray all of the emotions I felt during that evening, but this is what I can say. "

Panic

My oxygen is lodged in my throat.
I try to breathe, but my breath comes out in jagged winds, picking up as she nears me.
My heart is beating in my chest.
So fast, then so slow, threatening to stop.
My blood is rushing in my veins.
Wrists throbbing, beneath cuts that were caused by her memories.
My pupils are dilating.
My hands are shaking.
My mind is racing, thoughts slipping by too quickly, faster than I can comprehend.
My eyes are filling with the tears I've kept in for far too long.
No.
No, not here, please.
Don't let her be near me.
I cannot bear to see her after so long, so many months writing my emotions out in front of a computer screen.
No, please.
What do I do?
You're here, right in front of me, but I'm breaking, shattering inside.
What do I say?
I don't know what to do.
You're so beautiful, why did you leave me?
Your smile...oh my god, it tears me apart.
No, no I can't do this. I can't speak. I can't breathe.
Gotta breathe, gotta get away.
Run.
Run away from the problems.
Run away from the pain.
People line the streets looking at the girl who is inside of me.
They try to comfort, but I'm numb.
I cannot believe this happened.
I've been waiting so long, coming here every Thursday looking for you.
Yet, when it happens...I panic.
I have a panic attack.
I'm so scared.
You hurt me, and the pain still remains, yet all I want to do is kiss you, and love you, and be with you.
But I can't.
And you won't.
And I am numb.
Everytime, this happens, and it repeats over and over again, almost like clockwork.
Panic.
Panic Attack.

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