Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Restless

These last few nights, I've been waking up, restlessly sleeping, lightly dreaming.
I think my feelings keep doing this to me, mustering up mild insomnia, making my eyes ache, and my body unsettled.
I'm such a wreck, a total mess, a disaster of sorts, inside my head.
I'm in love with you, but I want to be capable of loving her too, in some way, if at all possible for me.
I just can't imagine myself being with anyone else but you.
But she's given me so many chances, she's been there for me when you weren't, she stands by my side, dreading my next downfall, then helping me to my feet when I feel like giving up completely.
She understands me, and she's willing to stay.
But you, you are so unlike her, you are so unreal, you are so out-of-this-world, I sometimes wonder if you are just a figment of my imagination, even though I know with my heart that you aren't.
You are the sun and the moon and the stars.
You are the universe, the planets, and the galaxies.
You are the light and the dark and the inbetween.
You are all around me, in everything I see.
You are you.
And I can't be without you.
I feel like I'm failing her when I know I am in love with you.
Then, I feel like I am failing you, when she distracts me from my sorrow.
I don't know where I stand anymore.
The solid ground I thought I stood upon is becoming unreliable.
And I believe that in my peaceful, yet disturbed unconcious mind, I am fighting with myself over her, and over you.
I know I will never be the same, because you are unlike any other woman I have ever met, and after meeting you, I knew that you would be the one thing on my mind, near constantly.
I love you, only you, I love you with a love with which I've never loved anyone else.
And leading her on like this, makes me sad, but I know that she'll understand some day.

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