Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Santa Visits Roswell and Area 51

Dear Santa,

I'm Matt Welcomb, with Channel 57 News out of East Westburg. Channel 57 is doing a spot about UFO's, and we were wondering if you'd like to comment on the following statement made by an unnamed high ranking government official:

Our agencies have conclusively determined that during eleven months of the year, a fat, irresponsible little aviator in a red jumpsuit, riding a flying elk-like creature with a glowing nose, does low fly-bys over the Bermuda Triangle, Roswell New Mexico, and Area 51. We suspect this is a part of a practical joke designed to strike fear in the hearts of the citizenry. However, we at {agency name removed for national security reasons} take such issues very seriously.

Specifically, we would like to ask you to respond to the following questions:

1. Are they referring to you?
2. If so, do you have any objections to the designation "irresponsible"?
3. Also, how does Rudolph feel about being referred to as an elk?
4. Finally, Are you concerned about reprisals from our government, foreign governments, or extra-terrestrial governments?

Thank you for your time.

Gratefully,
Matt Welcomb
Channel 57 News

ps: Instead of coal, I'd like to have a chunk of real kryptonite for Christmas this year.



Dear Mr. Welcomb,

Thank you for contacting the North Pole. Unfortunately at this time Santa is unable to respond to your inquiries, as he and his lawyer are held up with some legal disputes on planet Xyxiquiglion.

Merry Christmas
Mrs. Claus

ps: You haven't been that good this year.

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