Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

You Shall Not Pass

I feel a bit like Gandalf in The Lord Of The Rings. Standing firmly against all the forces of evil, and defiantly declaring, "You. Shall. Not. Pass!"

Not that I think you're evil. Far from it. Actually, I rather like you (though you do make a mess, and sometimes you make pretty bad smells, too - no offense). I think I'd be lonely without you. But still, you shall not pass.

What's that? Yes, I know that old saying: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with." I think it's a dumb saying. You know why? Because it ends with a preposition. That's just bad. Prepositions are the worst things to end a sentence with.

And so I say again: You shall not pass.

After all, it's just the nature of things. You're a bird, and I'm a birdcage.

Get used to it, and start whistling dixie again.

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