Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

Recipe for Disaster- Salad Dressing

The guests are coming, it’s getting late, the food is all but ready.
Each task is under my control, I keep it slow and steady.
All it needs is a healthy salad to make our meal complete,
‘Cos salad’s always best, I feel, in our late summer heat.
Now what I need is a recipe for a simple salad dressing
And I’ve got one here I’ve tried before so that saves me from stressing.
Lemon juice and olive oil, crushed garlic and some honey,
Preferably warmed up a bit to make it nice and runny.
A pinch of salt and pepper to taste, then place it in a jar.
Give it all a jolly good shake and there it is – Voila!

Now all went well up to this point, and then came my undoing.
What went wrong? You may well ask – It was my jar-lid screwing.
Yes—it happened—then and there—what I’d always dreaded.
My jar-lid had unfortunately got itself cross-threaded.
You’ve got the picture – there I stood looking like a fool—
With bits of garlic in my hair, the floor a sticky pool,
A greasy stain upon my shirt that went from chin to hips.
The dressing was quite tasty though – I licked it from my lips.
It took some time to wipe it all from benches walls and floor,
And no it wasn’t all complete before I heard the door.

The guests came in and looked at me—they fell about with laughter—
I’ve never managed to live it down even this long after!

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