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Writing Resources from Fifteen Minutes of Fiction

The following is a piece of writing submitted by Emily on June 7, 2012
"I don't know why, but this prompt had the guillotine and execution in my head, in general. I wanted to keep along the prompt's lines, not dancing away too much, still incorporating the elements without running away from the inspiration the onomatopoeia aspect instilled in me. I know it's gruesome, and possibly a bit bizarre, but it fit to me. >.>" Hopefully I don't disturb or offend anyone with this piece, though, as that's not what's intended.

Critiques are welcome!

EDIT: Stanza 8, Line 3, should read:
"But where the hero once stood strong""

A Foolish Choice

Krisch! Slishhh.
Plitss. Slitts.
Slowly falling down.
Vibrant red,
A hateful sheen.
A scene in which to drown.

Splishh. Splashh.
Squilch. Quelch.
Boots slip and slide this night.
A noble cause,
A heroic face --
Gone, the Judicial plight.

Plink. Tink.
Squeak. Creak.
A hidden blade did fall.
A wooden stand,
A steady hand --
A knight in the deadman's stall.

Crish. Crash.
Clank. Shhhhank!
A flash against the dark.
The shine of metal,
The sickening thud --
Friction's deafening spark.

Slosh. Splosh.
Fwish. Fwosh.
No more, the hero stands.
Blood washed away
On a rainy day --
His head is in your hands.

Snicker, Snack;
The blade that chops
And kills the gentle man.
Down the drain,
Never to be seen again.

It yells --
The sky, you see.
For he knows what you've done.
Your crime is written
In history,
Your battle lost, not won.

For rain may wash away your sins,
Hide them in the drain --
But where the hero once did stand,
Is his family, full of pain.

Death will come,
Justice swift --
And carry you away.
You should have left the hero, boy
And lived another day.

Crick. Crack!
The lightning strikes,
Your guilty face to frame.
And come tomorrow's stormy night --
Your blood will run down the drain.

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